Flying in Open Skies vs. Resting in Quiet Nooks: Reflections on the Two Indias

 

​I belong to a small town in Bihar, but I have spent most of my life away from this state. Due to education, work, and personal reasons, my journey has involved a lot of travel. I have lived in 10 different cities and traveled to 45.

​Yet, there have been phases where I returned for short periods, and I couldn't help noticing the deep differences in mindset and culture. These are the contrasts between small towns and big ones, developing places and metropolitan hubs.

​The Subject Matter of Our Days

​To start with, there is a noticeable difference in the everyday discussions and debates. In smaller towns, the three topmost topics tend to be religion, politics, and other people's lives.

​It always makes me wonder why something as deeply personal as religion becomes a topic of general public debate. It often leads to divisions, conflicts, and misconceptions because no faith is inherently superior or inferior, right or wrong. Similarly, an intense love for politics is prevalent among youngsters, though much of it is guided by social media. The conversations can sometimes feel heavy and judgmental. It is easy to criticize from the sidelines, but the real question is: how much are we doing ourselves to bring about a change?

​Then there is the third topic—and perhaps the most exhausting one. It can feel as though there is nothing else to discuss. Small minds talk about people and spread gossip, whereas in metros, people are either too busy to peer into another's life or simply more broad-minded and accepting. Personal boundaries are respected, and professional spaces remain professional. Perhaps the day small towns embrace this personal space, their communities will grow even more vibrant.

​There are so many other wonderful topics to explore—art, literature, philosophy, sports, and health. Yet, these are often labeled as too sophisticated and ignored. I often miss the ghazal evenings and book meets in the cafes of Pune, or the warm gatherings with a wonderful crowd and good music.

​At the same time, big towns are often criticized for their open culture. While that openness has its complexities, at least there is a baseline of personal safety and respect where nobody is forced or harassed. In small towns, where modern events and social gatherings are just beginning to take root, families are often afraid to let their children or youth participate because of safety concerns. But no government, no matter how efficient, can enforce law and order completely unless there is a shift in the collective mindset—and unless the right education about respect and boundaries is given right from school. Unfortunately, conservative societies are often hesitant to even talk about ethics, behavior, and sex education at that impressionable stage.

​The Two Sides of Caring

​On one hand, the tendency in small towns to be deeply invested in other people's lives feels like a demerit. But on the other hand, it is also a beautiful thing. In smaller cities, people truly care. In big cities, nobody is concerned about your problems; people can be more self-centered, hurried, and detached.

​Every lifestyle has its pluses and minuses. Small towns can thrive further if they broaden their outlook. Take marriage, for instance. Early marriage is often preferred because parents worry about children "getting out of hand" or choosing their own partners, stemming from more traditional beliefs. In big cities, the modern lifestyle has normalized later marriages, and it is common to see women beyond 30 thriving as single.

​Shouldn't parents let their youth explore the world, make their own mistakes, and take their own decisions? In small towns, marriage is sometimes placed on such a high pedestal that it borders on idolizing the husband due to lingering patriarchal roots. But the emerging new-generation trend is shifting: if marriage happens, wonderful; if it doesn't, that is completely fine too. Women are becoming fiercely independent, and a modern outlook on relationships means higher education leads to less tolerance for an unpleasant or suffocating bond.

​Take a simple example: travel. Girls in small towns are often discouraged from traveling alone, told reassuringly that after marriage, their husbands will take them places. Travel with him, they say.

​But the world is changing. Southern cities in India are wonderful for solo travel, and even across the North, young women are forming groups to explore. That is how they truly become independent, discovering a unique kind of joy and confidence. A husband cannot realistically be expected to fulfill decades of untraveled dreams for a partner who has been confined for too long.

​Similarly, there is so much more to life than rigidly following countless traditions and customs. This doesn't mean our traditions are wrong—we should always be proud of our rich culture. But practices like selective vegetarianism or fasting on certain days are deeply personal beliefs and should not be imposed on everyone around us. And since our higher education and professional paperwork are predominantly in English, encouraging habits like reading novels to build vocabulary feels like a much more enriching hobby to cultivate.

​The Gift of the Slow Pace

​So, how do we balance it all?

​Living in big cities can feel like flying in open skies—vast, liberating, and full of endless professional and personal possibilities. But that freedom often comes with the relentless rush of traffic, pollution, and a quiet loneliness hidden behind high-rise apartment doors.

​On the flip side, small towns can sometimes feel like restricted cages for someone yearning to soar. Yet, they offer something priceless that big cities have forgotten: time.

​The slow lifestyle of a small town allows for genuine recreation, unhurried conversations over evening tea, and precious family time that grounds the soul. There is less pollution, less chaotic traffic, and a sense of community where neighbors genuinely know your name.

​Small towns don't have to lose their warmth to grow. If they can blend their inherent care and unhurried peace with a broader, more accepting mindset, they won't just be places we return to for a break—they will be places where spirits can finally rest and breathe easy.

Niharika Prasad